Dumb rules and Commitment Devices

 Wise people have rules + Social commitments for growth

‘I’m not what I am. I’m not what you think I am. I’m what I think you think I am.’ – No, I’m not on drugs. Read this slowly.

Wise people have rules: I don’t do more than 3 drinks in one hour. I drink 7 litres of water every day. I show up to the gym no matter what. I don’t do caffeine after noon.

Rules, ugh? What about my freedom? Freedom from what, again? But bro, moderation bro. Balance. Balancing what? Good and bad habits? Do you want to have both bad and good habits? Or more good ones?

But you gotta chill a little bro. Let it slide. Fair, you don’t brush your teeth tomorrow. Let this one slide, BRO. You gotta live a little.

I’ve always thought that moderation is either oversold or incorrectly interpreted. I suck at interpreting it well and so I just assume it’s oversold. If you eat junk food in moderation that’s not bad.

But here’s what goes wrong: Next time there’s a house party and there’s a cornitos jalapeno we all know how that goes. So umm… what’s the way out? Well, I’ll just tell you what I do, I dart to the fridge and eat a kg of curd/yogurt. Yeah, I’m not even kidding. If that’s not what works for you, eat 300gms of cottage cheese/paneer (Raw paneer is gold tbh). 300gms? Yeah 300 gms. Overload yourself so you literally have no space for the junk. As messed up as that sounds, it’s better than the other junk that’s around you. You’d think it has more calories than that the packet of crap. But one packet of crap leads to more packets of crap and then you’re off to the races. So, if you do the entire math, raw cottage cheese wins, always does. Substitute raw cottage cheese for whatever raw food that you like (carrots, cucumber, peanuts). Chug 500ml of water right after it and you’re dead. You literally can’t even down any more beers. Done for the day!

It sounds like an absolutely crazy strategy. Half kg of anything is so far far away from the idea of moderation. Well, so is a large size pizza. You pick which side you want to err on.

Alright, getting back to wise people and their rules.

I like the idea of dumb rules, non-negotiables if you will. Last week, someone invited me to their kid’s birthday party. When he left, I told my friend, “What’s the point I don’t even eat cake”. She went like “What? You don’t eat cake? Like, at all?” I thought to myself - what did I just say, I’ve never said this before. And then I said, yeah man I don’t eat cake. It’s funny I started saying that more often in the following days. To everyone I knew. But.. umm why?

If I tell you I don’t smoke anymore and you see me hotboxing in a room, you go – Bro, I thought you don’t smoke anymore, and I feel like shit for being caught in the act. Let’s leverage this idea. This is exactly how I quit smoking. For those of you who know me even a little bit: You know I went from addiction to fitness. Was it easy? Maybe not. Was it as tough as it sounds? Maybe not.

I told everyone I quit smoking. I borrowed cigarettes for 2 years straight. I was the guy who’d walk in the zone and ask random folks for smokes (unnecessary rhyme, but whatever!). I made peer pressure work for me. People like to be the ones calling someone out on their shit. So let them do that. I started telling everyone I quit other addictions too. But post gym, the gymbros would be downing protein shakes, I’d be zoning the fuck out and listen to Gucci Gang. But no one knew, except my friend and his girlfriend (we were not having a threesome, FFS). And then there were talks about how Karan has changed and is into fitness now. Well, the change happened because the talk happened and not the other way round. Suddenly I had this image to live upto : The guy who won’t eat junk, the guy who won’t do more than a few drinks because he has a deadlift PR planned tomorrow.

Self-talk: Oh, I’m the fit guy, huh? I don’t eat junk? Huh

But what about that cream stone you had yesterday?

Yeah, but these guys ALL can’t be wrong. Maybe I AM the fit guy. Maybe I don’t get zonked and play with my dog or go for bullet rides.

So, I did. I worked backwards. The only downside is that people judge you for not practicing what you preach. But hang on, who are these people, again? What are the odds they’ll stick around in your life? Your friends anyway accepted you for what you are. They love you already. If you lose out on them by virtue of this ‘judgement’, well, then you have some real questions to ask yourself.

Embarrass yourself so hard that you have no choice but to follow what you claim. You’ll always have the urge to stick to what you declare in public. It’s literally how we’re wired (I’ll talk more about this when I write about the structure of the human brain and its mechanisms).  Why do we have this tendency to develop this weird dislike for someone who says one thing and does the other? More importantly, why do we have this urge to stick to what we promised?

Well, you have the brain of your ancestors. A better social image meant you’d be part of the ‘tribe’, if you’re part of the tribe, you thrive. You get to mate; you get access to resources.

Make this principal work for you rather than against you. If you work out, even a little bit, go to the gram and post pictures. Make yourself accountable. Let people think of you as someone who’s into fitness.

 People don’t even offer me the food they eat. My flatmates, my parents – None of them. ‘Ye to ye sab khata hi nai hai’.

For the last damn time “Who left the creamstone box in the trash, man!”

Shh.

Pick one of the topics below and let me know what I should write about next.

Next up

1.       Behavioral psychology: Why we act the way we do

2.       My organ donation story : From morphine, anxiety and wheelchairs to Deadlifts

3.       Eating like our ancestors but not living like them: My p(f)aleo diet

4.       The case against sugar: Why you’re better off eating fats than carbs

5.       17 hours without any food/caffeine and a leg workout

6.       The power of a breakup(s)

7.       Lessons from Eckhart Tolle’s the Power of Now – Living in the present